Feeling like a badass
I first met Yolande at pregnancy yoga and when I was looking for someone to help me and my husband with a bit of birth preparation (2nd baby, 1st birth traumatic, more so for Jamie than me), Yolande came highly recommended. We spent a very calm 90 mins talking about different positions and ways he could support me, and Yolande told us about her work as a doula (I had no idea she was a doula too). As soon as she walked out the door, Jamie turned to me and said, 'I want her there when our baby is born'. I had a really tough time mental health-wise with our first baby so this time around I was focusing on my health (both mental and physical) to get us in the best possible place for baby no 2. I hadn't explored doulas before meeting Yolande because I was quite ignorant about how it worked, and thought I needed to be a zen, spiritual sort of person to do it. How wrong I was! Yolande spent a lot of time beforehand to understand what sort of birth we hoped to achieve, and how we wanted to work together.
During pregnancy, Yolande was a fantastic resource and support when it came to appointments with the obstetricians (I had a high risk pregnancy due to pre-eclampsia and haemorrhage the first time round, which meant extra monitoring), e.g. they were keen to induce me, which I wanted to avoid if possible. Yolande helped me navigate those appointments which meant I was informed and confident enough to ask to give birth in the midwife-led birth centre, which was initially not feted as a possibility for me.
I lost my mucus plug a week before my due date, when this happened the first time round I was in proper labour 12 hrs later so of course had the same expectations this time round. When that didn't happen, I felt quite despondent but Yolande was there to listen and reassure me.
On my due date i had an appointment already booked in with the obstetrician. They were quite keen to look at induction because of my history but I knew that ideally i'd like to go into spontaneous labour. As I'd already lost my plug, the doctor suggested a sweep which i was happy with. It transpired i was 2cm dilated and by the time i was back in the car, about 2.30pm, the contractions had kicked in!
I got home and went to bed, thinking I should get some sleep while I could but fully expecting labour to last another 24 hrs. I got a couple of hours' sleep thank goodness. I was really happy to be in labour: feeling very zen, rocking on my yoga ball whilst my husband and mum were collecting my toddler from nursery and making me some pasta for energy. At that point it was all very calm and I updated Yolande who was about to teach a yoga class, telling her we'd have ages! But about an hour later, interestingly as soon as my toddler had gone to sleep, things shifted and started escalating! I don't remember asking for it but I remember being desperate for my eye mask to block things out visually so I could focus on my contractions. Jamie also got the tens machine out which was great.
By 8pm I was mooing in our front room! Jamie deduced it was time to get to hospital asap, I sort of thought I had ages to go, because I was basing it on my first labour (42 hours). So glad he made the call when he did. At one point I was worried I was going to give birth in the taxi!
Yolande rushed to meet us at the hospital, arriving at the same time we did. From there she took control which is exactly what we needed, so we were whisked through triage, and as soon as we got to our room (lovely and big with fairy lights and a birth pool in the birth centre at Homerton hospital), Yolande immediately asked our midwives to turn the lights down and fill up the pool.
Having someone by my side who knew my birth plan and could communicate for me, whilst Jamie was wrestling with the bags and unpacking supplies (snacks and music, important!). She was a very calm, solid presence. I could lean on her utterly (and frequently did so physically), confident in the knowledge my wishes would be communicated. Yolande also somehow anticipated my needs before I knew what they were, slipping a pillow under my knees whilst I was kneeling while waiting for the pool to fill up.
My midwives were fantastic too, and once I was in the pool (which felt great), they encouraged me to listen to my body. Yolande's mind reading skills continued, I remember her fanning me, misting my back with cold water and essential oils (the eye mask was still firmly on!). At one point she handed me a wooden comb as a distraction form of pain relief, which really worked. Jamie was very confused and thought I'd been combing my hair in the birthing pool haha.
At this point I'd been in hospital for about an hour, my body was pushing but I was taking it slowly. The midwives thought my bladder might be in the way so suggested going to the loo. I knew there was no way I could make it out of the pool to the bathroom, only a few steps but felt like miles with incredibly intense contractions rocking my body. Yolande helped steer me to the bed where, again, I was encouraged to listen to my body, and my daughter Sadie was born at 22:56, not even 2 hours after I'd been admitted. Yolande suggested I cut the cord, which the midwives said they hadn't seen before. It was one of the most empowering moments of my life, I felt like a total badass. I never in a million years thought I could give birth without pain relief (saying to Yolande in one of our antenatal appointments, 'I'm not interested in breathing this baby out!'), but with her solid and calm reassurance, I did just that.
Once Sadie was born, we had gorgeous skin to skin. I was fretting about latching because I'd really struggled breastfeeding my first baby. Yolande just encouraged me to slow down a bit, enjoy the cuddles and lie down! I had a tear which needed stitching, Yolande was there the whole time, listening to me babble nonsense on gas and air, and offering me lots of lovely essential oils to smell. This also gave Jamie the time and space to have his skin to skin with Sadie, without having to worry about me too. Yolande found my pyjamas without me even asking and then encouraged me so gently into the shower, helping me wash myself and make a giant pad.
The kindness and gentleness she showed me in that amazing but very raw moment makes me a bit tearful now, nearly 5 months on.
We had the essential tea and toast together, and about 2am Yolande left me, Jamie and our new arrival!
Post natally I had 2 lovely sessions with Yolande, focusing on me which felt good in my new world where everything else was focused on my new, tiny baby. She bought me nourishing food and smoothies, the opportunity to discuss labour and birth and to really process what happened. The bone closing ceremony 6 weeks later felt like the most gorgeous hug for my body.
I think Yolande sometimes finds it hard to accept praise, so let me write this down: having her on board was the best decision Jamie and I made about our second birth. I feel so fortunate to have experienced the labour and birth I did, Yolande was a huge part of that. I cannot recommend her enough.