Writing your Birth Preferences

Thinking about how you wish to birth your baby is a perfect opportunity to look at what options are available to you. This may feel overwhelming – where to start? So it might be a good idea to think about what you don’t want for your birth. When you are clear about that then you can become clearer about what you do want.  

Birth takes many forms and your birth will be unique, just like you and your baby. There is no right or wrong way to birth your baby, as long as your choices are coming from you and feel right for you. Your body, your baby, your birth. Follow your instincts and listen to your heart.

Here are some things you might like to include or think about in your birth preferences:

Where would you like to birth? (Home, birth centre, labour ward)

How would you like to birth? (Hypno-birthing, Active birth, Water birth, planned caesarean, Natural caesarean, Induction)

Who would you like at your birth? (partner, sister, best friend, mum, doula)

What would you like to do in the early stages of labour?

What would you like to eat or drink?

What kind of atmosphere do you want in the birthing room?

Would you like a water birth?

How do you wish to be supported in terms of the sensations of labour? (Massage, oils, homoeopathy, gas & air – do you want to ask for support rather than be told what you need)?

Would you like direct skin to skin?

Do you wish for the umbilical cord to stop pulsating?

Do you want your baby to be checked immediately or wait an hour?

Do you want to deliver your placenta physiologically or have syntometrine?

Do you wish to see you placenta? Would you like to keep it?

Do you want to breastfeed?

Do you want your baby to have the Vitamin K injection or orally or not at all?

Do you want to be examined internally during labour and do you want to know how dilated you are?

It helps to be as succinct as possible and keep your preferences to one page, a copy for you and a copy in your notes.

Using your BRAIN

Every person, every pregnancy, every birth and every baby is unique. And how you choose to give birth, and care for your baby is your choice.  Yes, your choice. 

You may be sitting down reading this and thinking “Well I don’t feel like I have a choice,” as not much in the way of choice has been given to me by my care provider. You may feel inundated with information from friends, family, the Internet and TV or even every well-intended stranger in the street!

If the information you are receiving feels good and feels satisfactory then that’s great, however if what you are hearing and being presented with doesn’t align with your maternal instinct and birth preferences, you could be left feeling a bit confused. The question you may be asking is “How do I learn more about my options and/or alternatives?” Knowing this will make you feel that you are making empowered and informed decisions based on your pregnancy, birth and as a parent.

The BRAIN acronym below is a simple tool of asking for more information on anything at all that you feel unclear about from your care providers, so you can move forward to making better-informed choices.

B – Benefits What are the benefits?

R – Risks What are the risks?

A – Alternatives What are the alternatives?

I – Instincts What is my instinct telling me? What is your gut feeling?

N – Nothing What if we do nothing? for 5 mins,  an hour – a week?

And finally if there is anything out there that you would like to know more about be it homebirth, medical intervention, alternatives, support there are really good links to be found on my resource page.

“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen” - Rumi